Everything so far has exceeded my expectations. I still believe my job is as good a fit for me as I can imagine. I got my team assignment on Wednesday — I’m trading congestion revenue rights in California. I’ll have to explain what that is and why I want to do it in a future post. Living across the street from work has already proven useful and I like my coworkers, especially the group of 8 others who started with me.

Better yet, there’s a gorgeous national park 15 minutes from my door. I heard that the Potomac is nasty and polluted, and it probably is near the city, but if you head straight north from Vienna you hit Great Falls National Park which is gorgeous even by Utah/Yosemite/Glacier NP standards, and has some very good outdoor rock climbing options (and I picked a good time of year to move in). Ten more minutes further north hits Earth Treks Rockville, a solid indoor climbing gym open until 10pm, with a good community of members. Also, a good friend of mine and hardcore mountain biker has some downhill trails in the backyard of his family’s house out in the country… but real biking may have to wait till spring when I can afford a new bike.

Now I’m on the patio of a bar on Dupont Circle in perfect weather (enjoy it while it lasts!) finishing up computer errands (opening a bank account) and getting ready to meet a mix of new work friends and new/old college friends at a ridiculous happy hour in Adams Morgan — 50¢ draft miller light starting 5pm, price rising 50¢/hr. Then to amazing-looking Ethiopian food at Meskerem, and choosing from a number of bars/clubs/house parties to hit afterwards.

Apparently this is the “Right Coast” because “best” doesn’t rhyme with “east.” Could be worse :)

It kills me not to know this
but I’ve all but just forgotten
what the color of her eyes were
and her scars or how she got them

…

One thousand miles away
there’s nothing left to say
but so much left
that I don’t know

-Rise Against

When I made the decision to move to DC next year — accepting my dream job — I’d been at Stanford for a summer, much of which was spent traveling, and a fall, which was so busy that I rarely socialized. At the time, my only thought of friends was, “I’m sure I’ll be able to meet people and have fun in DC.”

I had no idea what my relationships here would mean to me come graduation.

There’s still time…

But reading mad me realize there’s a bunch of books I want to read. Just in case anyone ever feels like buying me something (and partly to keep track for myself), I used Amazon to make a wish list.

Check it out: good things to buy Tom.

The book was written by a man currently practicing politics and still pursuing his ambitions. Unsurprisingly, the book is not critical of anyone whom McCain hasn’t already criticized in public, and it is very positive in its portrayal of himself and his friends.

With that understanding, I found it to be a great read and it offered me a new perspective on some of the recent Balkan and Middle Eastern history I’ve studied. It also offers an informative (though not all-encompassing) view of the modern Republican Party from a mostly-insider.

More than recent history, I enjoyed the personal explanations of what McCain tries to be and how at many times he has failed to live up to his ideals. It’s easy for me to relate to his high expectations for himself and his struggles to resist urges of vanity (which he recognizes as silly). In the book’s epilogue, McCain reminisces about his image in his youth:

It had been enough for a while for people to know me as a fighter and an individualist. But it didn’t seem to give my life enough meaning to justify the risks I took. That was because I took them for myself alone.

He concludes, “Vietnam changed that.”

I’d prefer my Vietnam to be less bloody and on a battlefield of my own choosing, but I definitely feel myself seeking a cause Worth the Fighting For.

There’s also sweet mountains for climbing and riding but they’re a little further than they were in Utah.

Did I mention the girls and the sunshine?

It’s nice to be home.

The part that Park City didn’t cover at all when I moved here was friends. Every time I’d log in to Facebook to keep track of people who didn’t live near me, isolation confronted me on every friend’s profile that showed “Salt Lake City (1)”, usually preceded by “Claremont (349)” or “New York (112)” or similar. “Yes, Tom,” said Facebook, “you’re the only fool known to you or any of your friends to be living in Utah. That (1) is You.”

When I moved here my plan was basically “Apply to grad school, work butt off for 9 months, snowboard, and leave for graduate school when the startup fails.” I reasoned that the unlimited outdoor and exercise stimulants available and the exciting and all-consuming work, combined with some trips to the West Coast would keep me pretty happy for 9 months. It really did, but my startup didn’t fail on schedule and now I’ve been here 18 months. The startup still hasn’t failed (quite the contrary) but I’m running out of time for grad school so I am leaving in one more month. The weird thing is, I have friends here. I’m not really sure when that happened or what I did to deserve it.

It’s pretty cool though.

I took my job at Zane Benefits hoping it would teach me about business and give me chances to meet important and wise people. It has. I dress better, work better, and manage better than I did 9 months ago. I sound infinitely more competent on the phone. I’ve also met a bunch of notable people.

Utah is incredible. When I leave here, it will only be a matter of time before I come back. Whether I’ll be unshaven, unwashed, and in a tent, or preppy-looking and enjoying my vacation home in the mountains depends on a few things… I’m hoping for both.

Postscript – the nay-sayers who complain that having a hot tub is more trouble and money than it’s worth are wrong.

So nobody ever told you, baby
how it was going to be
So what’ll happen to you, baby
guess we’ll have to wait and see…

I was amused when my roommate, friend, and co-worker Ben Dilts decided upon being hired as the second employee at our company that his appropriate title was “Only Technology Officer”… as opposed to CTO.

I’m now Only Operations Officer. and about 6 other titles. The problem is, unlike most companies with only a handful of employees, we’re legit. Today I met with an executive vice president from one of the 50 largest companies in the U.S. I would guess this dude legitimately makes 10 times my salary. The deals I’m working on are unreal. Great for my career, but the next couple weeks are going to be the biggest challenge of my life so far.

Wish me luck :)

I made a connection that seemed profound as I was falling asleep last night and thinking about how fortunate I am.

Don’t stare at the rocks.

This was the first useful piece of advice I received when I was learning to mountain bike. It works like magic. If you see a rock in the trail ahead that strikes the fear of a crash into your heart, your instinctive reaction is to stare at it in horror. If you stare at the rock, your bike will run into it.

Every time.

If, instead, you ignore the rock and stare at the clear patch of earth you want your bike to pass over, your bike will go that way. Every time.

Through work I’ve run into a number of people who are in the self-help/motivational/coaching business. I instinctively dislike the rhetoric involved and the amount of money people make selling the same recycled advice over and over, but I agree that helping someone gain the confidence and motivation to work toward their goals is one of the greatest gifts you can give. So, if it works, great.

For me, the best advice has been from mountain biking:

Don’t stare at the rocks.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles (frequently quoted as Nelson Mandela)

Well, that and the fear of being responsible for the unpredictable consequences of actually attempting to wield power.

Visiting Portland and St. Louis for the holidays was great. Seeing old friends and realizing that none of them are in Utah kind of made me miss them more rather than less, but hey. As long as you miss people you can’t be really depressed. And within a few days of my return to Utah three of my favorite girls in the universe messaged, e-mailed, and visited me (one each) and there’s nothing like cute girls saying Hi to make me optimistic again as usual =)